Dear Diary…

Dec 24th 2010 @ 13:20

Well, unless blogging..I’ll try to write my Diary. Hmm..what should I write first…?

Maybe I can start writing ’bout my daily activities. Well, I am an employee of a company, factory Exacly. Just a mid-level staff. Doing jobs from 8 to 5, and Monday til Friday. On Saturday to Sunday, I go to college to study.

My Daily lifes, besides blogging and doing my jobs, nothin so special, until….until She came. Yes, a woman who attract my heart, taking my eye sight on, and makes me damn crazy. of course makes me crazy. I dont know, what happen. I never felt like this before. She wasnt too pretty, not too bad also.

I used to meet with beautiful girls, and I have so many friend of beauty chicks. But, this girl, this “not too beauty” girl, she’s the only one who makes me down. I’d love to talk with her. And we used to sending emails each other. But for some reason, I just cant get along with her. Just cant, and I cant tell you whats the reason.

When I get email from her, I used to read it, so many times. I can get smile, by just read her name on my Inbox. Mann, is this what called “love”?… We’re not meet everyday, but when we meet, it feels like, it just fun, happy, rainbow on my heart.

Because I cant get along with her, I was tryin’ to make her comfortable. Thats it. Anything I’ll do for her, when I can. When I met difficulties on my job, i just remember her, and i felt like, my problem was just so easy.

God, if I can wish an impossible thing and You’ll accept, I’ll make a wish…please God, dont let her cry, and make her smile, everyday. Thats it.

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January 4th 2011 @ 14.27


Look into my eyes – you will see
What you mean to me
Search your heart – search your soul
And when you find me there you’ll search no more

Don’t tell me it’s not worth tryin’ for
You can’t tell me it’s not worth dyin’ for
You know it’s true
Everything I do – I do it for you

Look into your heart – you will find
There’s nothin’ there to hide
Take me as I am – take my life
I would give it all – I would sacrifice

Don’t tell me it’s not worth fightin’ for
I can’t help it – there’s nothin’ I want more
Ya know it’s true
Everything I do – I do it for you

There’s no love – like your love
And no other – could give more love
There’s nowhere – unless you’re there
All the time – all the way

Oh – you can’t tell me it’s not worth tryin’ for
I can’t help it – there’s nothin’ I want more
I would fight for you – I’d lie for you
Walk the wire for you – ya I’d die for you

Ya know it’s true
Everything I do – I do it for you

Bryan Adams

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January 6th 2011 @ 11 am

When I was a kid, on 5th grade exactly, I met a girl. That was the first time I felt attracted to someone. You can say, that was the first time I fell in love. She was my new classmate.

If I remind what I was, how I used to awkwardly in front of her, I was just smiling. She was just so adorable, and smart. But, we separate after we graduated from elementary school. She took another different junior high than me. And after that, we talk less, and even we’re not meet each other until we grew up.

Well, we’re not in relationship by the way. So, she might be not realize what I felt on her. But so different with me. For couple years, I still thingking about her.

When I was on Senior High, I met another girl. To be honest, there are some girls whose interest in me, but I always ignored them. They’re good looking and kind hearted person. But,..I dont know why, I just.. I felt nothing to them. The feeling that I have when I was kid, I dont feel in their. So, I never had any relationship with girl.

After finish my study on Senior High, I began to work. I went to Bandung, and working there. But Bandung wasnt so friendly place to live and stay on. Except the girls of course. I was suffered living there. Its so difficult to find a good job, according to my background which is just senior high alumnus. I go from one place to another, it’s because my job that accepted for me is just part-time job.

Because of financial difficulties, I had several times to do the “side” job, just to survive. You know what “side” mean?in Bahasa, I called it..’”haram”. Well, you can blame me for those stupidness. I know it was wrong. But along my adventures through the black area, I met another girl. Yes, this time is different. The feeling that I have when I was kid, it reveals again. I felt in love for the second time.

She is, a “man-attituted girl”. Ahh,.. I dont know what’s the right word for this. U can say it in Bahasa for “tomboy”. Well forget it. She looks so strong, though, powerfull, but still soft to everyone. I try very hard to get near her. Because,there are many men who approached her. But finally, I win the game. For the first time in my life, I had a serious relationship with a girl.

But life is not always fun. For some reason whose I cant tell you guys, I broke up with her. Damn, its hurt, really hurted. And because of that, I leave Bandung, and went to Jakarta.

Dude, what do you think about Jakarta?Holy-Shittt…this is the damnest city I ever lived. If you’re a newcomer and weak,than I suggest you not to come to this city. Just stay away, and find another place. Believe me, Jakarta wasnt friendly.

Hahh, forget it. So many bad memories I had in there. But, God still loves me though. My friend offer me to work outside Jakarta, but still near, in Cikarang. There was the first time best job I ever had. I work in a factory, as a staff, and sitting in a comfortable room, which had air conditioner inside.

In Cikarang, I began to live normally, in a right way ofcourse. I start to saving some, because I had plan to continue my study to University. Thanks God, I still have another chance, even though in the past, I cant see You, but You’re always watching and taking care of me, 24-7.
After one year stay in Cikarang, my old friend from Elementary School contacted me. He invite me to gathering, with old friends from the Elementary School. And no doubt, I said yes. There, in a rendezvous, I met her again. The adorable girl, which I used to love, my very first love. Yes, its her. Damn seriously, my heart beats faster than usual. Just like, coming to the past, and the good memories reveals. And you know what, she changed already right now. But, changed to a very nice-sweet-beauty-mature woman. She was just like a goddess.

We talk so much, talking about the past ofcourse. And even the gath is over, we have had each own cellphone number. Well, I started another relationship again, but still in the stage of friendship. Now , I coming back to Cikarang, and she come to Yogyakarta to continue her study @university.

I was just thinking, God,..is this the way You love me?by separating us and reunite after so long?Do I have the chance to get along with her?well, if You said so, why dont You make it more easier?or, You want me to try more?well God,if that so….. I like the way You love me.

But,….here another curious of life. After two year I lived here, there are just another girl. This is the girl which I tell in the first post. This is the girl who attract my heart, taking my eye sight on, and makes me so damn crazy.

I was just met her for couple months, and we just had small talk. But, but why I had so deep feeling about her?.. Well, the rest of my story and this girl, I told you so. You can read it in the top of post. After meet with her, so wish I could forget my first love. I dont know why, damn Damn!. She makes me crazy, crazy in love. I cant stop thinking about her.

But for about a week before and after New Year, I havent talked or met with her again.

Where is she?mannn,.. I miss her so much.

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January 11th 2011 @2.50 pm

one of my friend commented on this diary page. He said that, the girl I tell on the story, must be very special to me. Indeed, that was correct!. But then he asked me, if I do love and admire her so much, why I post so many photos of beautiful and sexy women in the blog?whether the woman I loved, was not interesting enough for me?

Well, I easily answer that question. I might admire so much beautiful girls. And I hunt photos of them every day. But, only one girl who I always think before I sleep. That’s the girl I loved…

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January 13th 2011 @1.10 pm

Here, I have an interesting trick for you. It’s about finding the very first photo that taken by people with their brand new digital camera. U know what I mean?

Try to type this keyword(without bracket) (DSC00001.jpg) on Google Image Search Engine. Then click search and see the results. The result is most likely represents the very first photo that taken by people with their brand new digital camera. Do you know why?it’s because, naming standards by digital cameras are generally preceded by “DSCxxxxx.jpg”. And when people upload it to the internet without change the file name, I can say it, it’s the very first photo they got.😀

Funny logical isnt?. Wanna try some?well, why dont you try to change the number of the file, from DSC00001.jpg to DSC00002.jpg, DSC00003.jpg and so on and see the results.😀

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January 21st 2011 @07.48 am

For the first time in my life …
It’s the very first experience for me …
It never happen before …
Though I felt in love for couple times …

I dream about her last night. I saw her, wearing a red sweater, and She’s damn very gorgeous …

Dear God, I’m not denying at all, I do love her so much ..

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